Bad Decisions, Good Friends & Really Ugly Hair

Posted by jon on April 20, 2009 in family and friends |

In the very best of situations hair coloring and modification is a dangerous enterprise. The risk/reward factor is skewed heavily towards risk. Three weeks ago I swore that this story would never make it to the world wide web, but what can I say, I guess I can’t keep a secret. I should really see someone about self abusive behavior. Alas, here we go.

Back in the day (and yes it was a Wednesday), when I was at Mercer, I always had highlights in my hair. After cutting my hair I decided that the highlights were quickly going to cross into the realm of “more trouble than they’re worth”. Now that I once again need to make regular stops on the hair-tie ales I decided perhaps it was time to resume my practice of hair alteration.

This is pretty much where the good ideas in this story end. Instead of following my wife’s advice and having the highlights done professionally (as I always did in the past), I decided to save a few bucks (a decision I base solely on Rainer’s bad influence) and do it myself. Now Tiff and I have done highlights on my hair in the past to varying degrees of success, but this was a first attempt with hair as long as mine is now. We purchased a good brand, though not one we had used before, because we wanted to use the cap to pull my hair through.  Now if the story ended here it would already be a worthy comedy. The sight my Charlie Brown head squeezed into that skull cap was ridicules enough by itself, but no, let us press on.

Now, there comes a point in every marriage where communication can be done without the burden of words, and that night after pulling my hair through the cap the two of us looked at one another and we both knew this was a bad idea, perhaps the worst of ideas. The cap we bought had about three times the number of holes as the previous brands we had use thus it allow almost all the top half of my head to be exposed to the lightening chemicals. But when has good judgment ever show me down before. So we did the deed and 30-45 minutes later I went in to rise out my hair.

no-picNow, I am not one to worry extensively about my appearance but the iridescent golden orange that now topped my head mixed with my naturally dark hair and beard made it clear that I would not be going to work or anywhere else the next day unless my current situation was resolved. To her credit Tiff was by my side through the whole thing. Well, that’s not entirely true, though it would have been true if I had lain down in the bed. As soon as my new look was unveiled she announced that she thought it was a bad idea from the start and she was going to bed. I don’t blame her one bit. This was a disaster and there are just some projects that you don’t want your name on. She was in a no-win situation and unlike myself she had the good sense to know when to get out of dodge. But now what was I to do? It was nearly midnight on a Sunday and the real world was lurking just eight hours away.

To be continued…

Next time on God is Everywhere…

“No, really no pictures.”

“Do you really think this is a good idea?”

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”


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